I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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