My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
