So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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