I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
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you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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