so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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