We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
