Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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