After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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