I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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