I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
