i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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