yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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