So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
