shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I look better un-naked...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
When are your genitals available?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
