I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
