she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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