I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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