found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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