new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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