Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
