I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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