I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize