is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
