I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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