Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
