She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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