so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
