My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
