i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
