Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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