forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize