girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
