ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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