Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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