i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
