used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
