he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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