i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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