u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
