i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
