I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize