I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
