dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
