I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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