Whod you bang
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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