Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
