hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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