Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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