he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
