i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
