Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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