Me too!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I can feel your judgement through the phone
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
