so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
