addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
