I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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