Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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