Your mouth is God's brothel.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize