Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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