so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
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And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
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OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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