Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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