the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
