last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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