Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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