yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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