Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
