I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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