girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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