how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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