Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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