I love black thongs
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
