you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
