the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
